Tuesday, July 04, 2006

My Day At Work

Disillusioned with my current job in banking, I decided to pursue my other dream career as a careers counsellor.

My first clients arrived in the morning. It was a motley crew: 2 cloves of garlic, 1 cup of rice (long grain, paella or Arborio, I can’t be sure), 1 tin of tomatoes (tin sized), 1 tin of navy/kidney beans, 3 chorizo sausages, 1 litre of stock, salt, pepper, paprika, cumin, cinnamon and basil.

Jobe, they said, make us tasty. We all want to be tasty. Oh and winterrryyyyyy. Because it’s winterrrrrr.

DREAM SEQUENCE: Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Said I Tasted Good

I set to work making them better people without getting too chizzy. I saw my role as the coach of the soccer team. They were a group of misfits, and I was a washed up alcoholic. Who put me in charge of these kids? No idea.

I started by going to the chopping board and cutting up the chorizo into small, round chunks. They were then fried until garlic and various herbs and seasoning was added. Pleased with how things were going, I relapsed into alcoholism. We were headed to the finals! Dammit! It was just one drink to celebrate!

Back on the wagon.

I decided to develop action plans for everyone (trick I learnt at career counsellor TAFE course):
- Add in the rice, stir.
- Add in everything else.
- Cook until stock is evaporated and rice is of appropriate consistency.

You know what? We won the league title or some shit!

Celebration Montage


Rach said...

I'll bet Navy Beans was the fat kid in the glasses who you taught to Believe in Himself.

sublime-ation said...

And you made all those Bad Kids turn Good and go to College. I bet you even went round to their parents house and gave them a good talking to in the process.

Jobe said...

Rach, you're spot on. In this case it was actually large nazy beans I used. I found them to be too fat.

Sub-Ate, gotta take care of the kids (OTK)